Avoiding difficult feedback might feel kind, but over time, it creates distance, confusion and quiet frustration. In teams and in personal relationships, what isn’t said doesn’t disappear. It builds, often in ways you only notice when it’s too late. Handled well, honesty builds trust. Avoided, it quietly erodes it. The challenge is not whether to speak, but how.
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Focus on the behaviour, not the person.
Be specific about what happened, not who they are. Critique actions, not character.
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Use a simple structure.
What happened. Why it matters. What needs to change. Clarity removes defensiveness.
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Choose your moment.
Timing matters. Don’t deliver important feedback in the heat of frustration.
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Pause before you speak.
Ask yourself: am I trying to help, or just react?
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Repair quickly if needed.
If it lands badly, follow up. Reaffirm the relationship and reset the intent.
The above leadership tip...
was sent in response to a question from a participant on our acclaimed 10/10 leadership development and mentoring programme. Whether you're a first time manager or an experienced leader, straightforward, practical advice on best practice is hard to find. Until now. To find out how you, your team or your organisation can benefit, please contact us.
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