Leadership Tip

How to cope with not being liked

One of the less discussed aspects of leadership is accepting that not everyone will like you. In fact, if you lead long enough, some people may actively dislike you. Politicians know this better than most. Across Europe, leaders are often judged not by how many supporters they have, but by how much criticism they can endure. Keir Starmer, Emmanuel Macron and Friedrich Merz would probably agree that the question is no longer, “Will people like me?” but, “How much will they dislike me?” The same applies in business, sport and life. The moment you express an opinion, make a decision or put yourself forward, somebody somewhere will disagree. The challenge is not avoiding criticism. The challenge is handling it with self-possession.

  • Accept that disagreement is inevitable.
    Leadership involves choices, and choices create winners and losers. If everyone agrees with every decision, you are probably not making many.
     
  • Seek respect rather than popularity.
    Being liked feels good, but respect lasts longer. Focus on doing the right thing, not the popular thing.
     
  • Listen without becoming hostage to criticism.
    Some feedback contains valuable lessons. Some is simply noise. Learn to tell the difference.
     
  • Stay true to your values.
    Opinions change with the wind. Principles should not. Know what you stand for and return to it often.
     
  • Keep perspective.
    Most criticism is forgotten far sooner than we imagine. Don’t allow a passing comment to become a permanent burden.

The above leadership tip...
was sent in response to a question from a participant on our acclaimed 10/10 leadership development and mentoring programme. Whether you're a first time manager or an experienced leader, straightforward, practical advice on best practice is hard to find. Until now. To find out how you, your team or your organisation can benefit, please contact us.


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