Leadership Tip

How to avoid being too defensive

When we get defensive we make it harder for our conversational counterparts to hear what we’re saying, and we usually trigger the other person’s defensiveness, too. After someone has said something that causes you to want to become defensive, these three steps can lead you toward cooperation - and away from explosion:

1. Take a deep breath. Think of the first thing you want to say or do and don’t do that. Your first instinct may be to defend yourself against what you perceive as an attack, slight, or offence.

2. Take another breath. The second thing you want to say or do may be to retaliate, but that will only escalate matters. Don’t do that, either.

3. Focus on a solution. Think of the third thing you want to say or do and then do that. Once you get past defending yourself and retaliating, you have a better chance of collaborating on a solution.


The above leadership tip...
was sent in response to a question from a participant on our acclaimed 10/10 leadership development and mentoring programme. Whether you're a first time manager or an experienced leader, straightforward, practical advice on best practice is hard to find. Until now. To find out how you, your team or your organisation can benefit, please join us on our next complimentary webinar or contact us.


HOW TO THRIVE IN THESE UNPRECEDENTED TIMES
As part of the government's current business support packages, we have been awarded funding to deliver our acclaimed 10/10 leadership development and mentoring programme "live and online" to help those now working from home. This 10-week cyclical programme, leading to the award of a certificate in leadership development, offers cutting-edge insights into change, resilience, wellbeing, motivation, teams, communication, strategy, influencing, effectiveness and self-awareness. READ MORE


For more tips...
on leadership and management good practice, subscribe to a Minute with Montgomery on 10TV.


Looking for a first-class speaker...
William Montgomery, Founder and CEO of TEN, is in demand to speak at events and conferences and usually achieves the highest ratings and accolades. To make a speaking enquiry for your next event, whether online, in-house or in public, please CONTACT us.

Subscribe

Free weekly email on things you didn't know last week with links to articles on leadership excellence. To view previous editions click here.


Unlock your potential

Whether face to face, or over the telephone, we can develop your leadership skills, support you in making important decisions, and help you reach your potential.

Read More

Leadership Articles

10 weekend habits of purposeful leaders

The most impactful leaders know that success doesn’t come from working around the clock - it comes from working with intention. And that includes how we spend our weekends. While weekdays often revolve around performance, the weekend is a chance to reset... read more

10 actions for effective communication

High-quality communication is an essential element in business and organisational performance. Effective communication relies on engaging with people, having a commitment to building strong and productive relationships and realising that we communicate... read more

10 actions for advancing your career

Standing out at work isn’t about wearing a flashy hat - though, that could help. The more effective way to make an impact is by developing the skills that will get you noticed. Here are 10 strategies for advancing your career: Make skills... read more

Leadership Tips

How to stop procrastinating

Procrastination might feel like an unavoidable part of modern life, especially when you’re juggling competing priorities, but it doesn’t have to run the show. The truth is, putting things off usually creates more stress in the long run, not less. If you’... read more

How to make your habits stick

When it comes to building lasting habits, strict routines aren't always the answer. Research suggests that while consistency is important, the ability to adapt is what truly makes habits stick. As a leader, balancing structure with flexibility can help... read more

How to create a vision that motivates

Great leaders don’t just set goals - they paint a compelling picture of the future that energizes people to act. A motivating vision doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but it does need to be clear, grounded, and empowering. Here’s how to create one that... read more