Leadership Tip

How to give feedback to someone who doesn’t want it

It’s important to give feedback to team members. But what should you do when an employee gets defensive? Leaders in these situations may want to take a break from giving performance-related feedback and try giving feedback based more closely on how the employee receives it. Here’s how to get started:

  1. Get curious. You can’t assume that the feedback-receiver sees his/her behaviour in the same way that you do. Acknowledge that you’re expressing an opinion and ask to hear the other person’s, too.
     
  2. Use neutral language. Try to avoid words that carry negative connotations and place blame.
     
  3. Ask for feedback yourself.  Be brave enough to ask, “How am I contributing to this problem?” and then model how to receive the feedback.
     
  4. Secure a commitment. Make a specific request for a behaviour change, be open to counter-offers, and come to an agreement on the goal.

The above leadership tip...
was sent in response to a question from a participant on our acclaimed 10/10 leadership development and mentoring programme and adapted from When Your Employee Doesn’t Take Feedback by Deborah Grayson Riegel. Whether you're a first time manager or an experienced leader, straightforward, practical advice on best practice is hard to find. Until now. To find out how you, your team or your organisation can benefit, please join us on our next complimentary webinar or contact us.

Subscribe

Free weekly email on things you didn't know last week with links to articles on leadership excellence. To view previous editions click here.


Unlock your potential

Whether face to face, or over the telephone, we can develop your leadership skills, support you in making important decisions, and help you reach your potential.

Read More

Leadership Articles

10 questions leaders should never ask

Leadership is often portrayed as having the right answers. In reality, great leadership is more about asking the right questions. Questions can open minds, build trust and encourage innovation. Equally, they can shut down discussion, create... read more

10 ways to build your team

Everyone would like to be part of a dream team - a group of people, each skilled in their own discipline, pulling together to achieve more than they ever could alone. Yet while most organisations talk about teamwork, they still tend to reward individual... read more

10 weekend habits of purposeful leaders

The most impactful leaders know that success doesn’t come from working around the clock - it comes from working with intention. And that includes how we spend our weekends. While weekdays often revolve around performance, the weekend is a chance to reset... read more

Leadership Tips

How to choose your circle wisely

You’ve probably heard the saying: “You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.” The first reminds us that we cannot force others to think, behave or lead differently. The second reminds us that we can... read more

How to stand out in an interview

Most candidates spend their time preparing answers. The best candidates spend their time preparing stories. An interview is not an exam designed to catch you out. It is a conversation intended to determine whether there is a good fit between you and the... read more

How to cope with not being liked

One of the less discussed aspects of leadership is accepting that not everyone will like you. In fact, if you lead long enough, some people may actively dislike you. Politicians know this better than most. Across Europe, leaders are often judged not... read more